1.a?

How can a man of so few words and of such soft-spoken demeanor create so much chaos and disorder for any defensive back he faces? With hardly any commercial exposure, Houston Texans receiver Andre Johnson has quietly blown his way to elite status in the NFL among players at his position. With a 6 foot 3 inch frame and weighing 225 pounds, the seven- year pro has led the league in receiving three of the last four seasons. The twenty-eight year-old Johnson suffered a knee injury in week one of '07 in which he caught 60 passes for 851 yards with 8 touchdowns in just nine games. No one has led the league in receiving in consecutive seasons since 1993 when the San Francisco 49ers' Jerry Rice planted his flag three seasons in a row. Miami native Andre Johnson may very well complete the calmest route to the Hall of Fame in professional football history, with barely uttering a sound.

All About the Kids

The largest school system in southern Alabama has things figured out, apparently. Inflated graduation rates and selective attendance records have taken priority to the actual learning process of  students. Sound confusing? Join the club, take a number, and stand in line. According to the Mobile County Public School System, 95% of total students enrolled have to be in attendance around the beginning of October in order to get credit for the SAT, which is  not taken until April. If students do not meet a percentage requirement in attendance, their SAT score more than likely won't be counted - passing or not. This is commonly known among teachers as 'making AYP'(Annual Yearly Performance). There are several other contributing components to insuring AYP is made, but whether or not a child is in school in October should not determine if  he or she gets credit for an exam that's taken many months later. Meanwhile, positions are currently being cut and classrooms are getting more and more crowded.

Not extraordinary. Just spectacular.

Longevity is said to help build one's reputation. As for New York Jets running back Thomas Jones, falling foward when being tackled for three-yard gains and displaying above average pass blocking ability has made him the NFL's most underrated player at his position. Steven Jackson is the only RB that will have rushed for at least 1,000 yards each of the last five seasons other than Jones, including this one. So far this season, the Virginia alumnus has rushed for 1,167 yards while scoring 11 touchdowns with only two fumbles lost. Jones is not at the top of a lot of experts' lists of running backs, but compared to the flashier backs, he is just as good, or even better than most.

Star Power

Let's take a stroll down Nostalgic Boulevard for a moment, shall we? In the year of 1996, so many memorable events took place. Here's a few:

Java program language was created.
Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley got divorced.
The Olympics were in Atlanta.
Nintendo 64 was released in Japan.
Jay-Z released his debut album, Reasonable Doubt.
Gas was $1.22 per gallon.
Steve Spurrier's Florida Gators won the National Championship.
Yasser Arafat was re-elected president of the Palestinian Authority.
Peyton Manning was at Tennessee.
EBay was launched.
Kobe Bryant, Allen Iverson were rookies.
Bill Clinton began his second term as President.
Tupac's All Eyez on Me was released.
Minimum wage was raised to $5.15/hour.
The film Independence Day was released.
The Fugees released The Score.
Wannabe by the Spice Girls was the number one single.
LeBron James was ten years old.
And the Dallas Cowboys won a playoff game!!
Were these good 'ol days just distant memories? Will they ever reoccur or should we just hold fast to dated snapshots etched in our cerebral cortex and accept that these events will never happen again?

Winner's Circle

As the Cherokee slowed to around 15 mph to make a left turn, a Civic made rear contact at the rate of 65-70 mph. Upon impact, the SUV and its three passengers were sent rolling over onto its passenger side, then upside down and finally coming to a rest on its driver side. Simultaneously, the compact , carrying two passengers, drove underneath the SUV momentarily lifting its rear wheels off the road. The Civic spun 180 degrees and came to a stop, facing the opposite direction, on the shoulder of the opposite side of the street.

The one who speeds is usually always late. To prevent tragic and sometimes fatal automobile accidents, one must ask himself, "Why am I speeding?". Quite often, the excuse is a "heavy foot". Motorists seem to get a bit more involved with trying to be first at the red light than they need to be. The newsflash would probably be that it's still the same red light whether one is first or fifth. Then there is the option of running it. Chances are this will not get you to your destination any faster. The difference in driving time between traffic signals in most cities is about forty seconds to one minute and fifteen seconds later. Is it a major accomplishment to get there forty seconds sooner?

The irony of it all is that most motorists who speed are not necessarily in a hurry. Especially those who follow too closely, then wonder how they rear-ended the vehicle in front of them. If the license tag number is clearly visible on the vehicle, this following distance is too close. Simply release the accelerator and increase your following distance. If the guy behind you begins to follow uncomfortably close, don't take it personal. Allow him to pass so he can experience his sense of accomplisment. This may save SR-13 reports, insurance claims, and possibly even a life or two.

"...I can't swim!..."

Gary "Starchild" Schider was in classic form as Parliament/ Funkadelic with George Clinton put on a rather memorable performance of "Bop Gun (Endangered Species)" at City Park in New Orleans. Fans clung on to each note as the background vocals caramelised with the horns creating a new atmosphere. A musical ensemble with such effortless centrifugal force, worthy of sitting atop the coffee table like a bouquet of roses. A beautiful centerpiece and quite an experience, moments before a ten minute guitar solo which possessed enough electricity to mesmerise this whole room. Parliament's timeless sounds makes it easy to escape a realm of hate - even for just a few minutes. One of the countless highlights of 2009's version of the Voodoo Festival.

Jacket-ology

Junior tailback Jonathan Dwyer and his teammates left Landshark Stadium with a 33-17 loss to Jacory Harris and the Miami Hurricanes in week 5. Since that game, Dwyer and his swarm has won six straight while he has collected 1,203 rushing yards and 11 touchdowns to this point. Although Dwyer's teammate, QB Josh Nesbitt has only thrown for 1,418 yards, 8 TDs and 4 INTs, he has rushed for 847 yards and 16 TDs. Teammates, Dwyer and Nesbitt, have contributed to a 10-1 record so far, with wins against Virginia Tech (28-23) and North Carolina, (24-7) which both defeated Miami this season, a number seven BCS ranking, and an automatic berth to the ACC Championship Game in Tampa. Nationally ranked 54th in total defense, Georgia Tech has managed to place themselves in a position of control.

If Your Shoes have a Buckle on Them....

Sunday night at around 9 p.m., authorities in Coweta County in Newnan, GA (thirty minutes south of Atlanta) received a call from an unidentified homeowner claimed that Micah "Katt" Williams had broken into her home. According to Major James Yarbrough, Williams stole several items including jewelry, and was charged with burglary and criminal trespassing. The 36 year-old Cincinnati native was released Monday on $40,000 bond.
On November 3, a 17 year-old placed a 911 call and accused Williams of 'holding him against his will and threatening to beat him up'. The 17 year-old said he had a car waitng for him at the airport but Williams would not allow him to leave the Coweta County home. Pimp down?

Remember the Alamo

After finishing atop the Southwest division of the Western Conference (54-28) and about to enter his twelfth season, Spurs forward Tim Duncan's window of dominance is closing. To make one final attempt at NBA Finals championship, San Antonio acquired Richard Jefferson and Antonio McDyess via free agency/trade, and DeJuan Blair from Pittsburgh through the draft. Their best competition will more than likely come in the form of the Houston Rockets and the Dallas Mavericks for the upcoming season. If Manu Ginobili can stay healthy, the Spurs should repeat as division champs and possibly make waves in the Western Conference.

Creature of Habit

Who does the blame go to when a team is ranked in the top five in defense, but struggles to get consecutive first downs on offense? In week 7, a winless team threatened to score on at least four different occasions and was denied the end zone each time, forced to make four field goals...and still won. Late in the 4th quarter down 12-6, in the shadow of his own goal post, primed to orchestrate a game-winning drive, Todd Collins dropped back and got sacked in the end zone to score a safety for the 0-5 Chiefs thus recording their first win 14-6. Franchise owner Dan Snyder has been accused of putting together a fantasy team instead of a team that can win on the field. Can't use the injury bug as an excuse forever. It's rough in the nation's capital.

Will the real Steve Smith please stand up?

What's wrong with Steve Smith (Carolina)? In five games he has accumulated 259 yards receiving, 4 yards rushing on a reverse play, and a catch for a two-point conversion. Oh, and NO touchdowns!! Somebody help me out!

Welcome.

Let's get right to it, shall we?